Wednesday, December 18, 2013

“Have I ever been in love?”

  Someone recently

asked me if I ever been in love and what it’s like, but in complete honesty, I wouldn’t know. I wouldn’t know if I ever been in love, but I’ve been told how love feels in all sort of ways.......

I’ve been told how love feels in form of mutual feelings, perhaps one stronger than the other, or how it is one-sided. I’ve been told how love feels when one person no longer exist, and how merely strong their love is for them, and how it still goes on. I’ve been told how love feels, and if a person walks away from it, then you let them go if you love them enough, but in some cases I’ve heard love is also when you keep holding onto them, and you don’t move on with your life. I’ve heard that love is kind. It is willing. It is selfless. It is understanding. It is warm. It is the color red. It is fireworks. It is butterflies in your tummy. It is healing. It saves you from hell. It is having endless thoughts about someone, and still loving them despite the imperfections. That’s how you know when you  love someone, they say. That’s how you know, but is it really love? Or is it just the idea of love?
They say that you know it is love when it doesn’t make you tired, or feel like an obsession. However, sometimes, people cannot tell the difference. An obsession is trying to make someone love you when they do not feel the same way. And lusting and infatuation is another.
Then they also say that love hurts. Love can get complicated. Love is when you feel sadness, happiness, and anger. However, love, sadness, happiness, and anger are all very different emotions. Love. The concept of it is so broad, but where does it stand entirely?
Although, the question still stands, have I ever been in love? Perhaps, but will I ever know? The answer is possibly not. Everyone define love in different ways. I thought I was in love, but I may have been or not have been. Thinking and knowing is two different knowledge, and I’ve learned to differentiate it. I thought I was in love, but I might have been in the moment. I might have been in memories, but as it pass, that ‘love’ I felt drifted. Faded away. The emotions died and no longer feels the same. Am I in love? I don’t think so. Was I in love at the moment? Perhaps.
It’s a question I’ll never have an exact answer to. I believe that we can fall in love with people momentarily, and in moments depending on circumstances. If a loved one were to pass away and I was in love with them, my love would still stand. However, if a loved one hurt me because I was naive or too innocent for their liking, or ‘love’, then I might have been in love with them at the moment. They say if you’re unsure if you’ve been in love or if you loved someone, then you didn’t love them entirely. Although, that’s not the idea that I had in mind. I’m just unsure only because feelings change as we all grow older. We are put under different circumstances, and different people.
Although, if there is something I would say, I’d say love is an emotion. It is not pure happiness, or sadness. It is not painful, or sorrowful. It is more than happiness and close to euphoric. Advice from me to you is if you feel like you want to love someone, it comes naturally. Do it correctly, and don’t obsess. Most people confuse themselves with the idea of love, obsession, crushing, and emotions. Love is an emotion you give to other people generously without realizing it. It just happens, or that’s what I personally believe.
If you love, love freely. If you love, love willingly. If you love, love kindly. If you love, don’t destroy yourself in the process. If you love, build bridges, not insecurities or walls. If you love, communicate. If you love, trust. If you love, love yourself. If you love, just simply love. Whether it’s just love or being in love with someone, someday, you’ll find your own source of love. You’ll find your own definition. As for me, I have yet to find it although I am in the process of it.
In the end, the question is “Have I ever been in love?” Perhaps, but I’ll never know.